I'm in a highly irritable mood today. It's most likely due to PMS, but every little thing that happens makes me kind of HARRUMPH! I was woken up at 6 am by the walls of my tent violently flapping and snapping in the heavy wind, which it's been doing since then. I made some peanut butter and nutella toast, had an apple, and loaded myself into the car to head to gecko. On the way out, I noticed the camp director's chalkboard sign ordering everyone to clean their campsites, which I guess are a little too cluttered for his taste. My campsite is pretty much spotless (in fact, I was hauling the huge cardboard box that had sat in my yard for a while, and a trash bag, to put in the dumpster) but the sign still made me HARRUMPH! the curse of being a Brat...anytime anything like an Order is given, my body fills with resistance chemicals and I want to do just the opposite...and I wasn't even being singled out! I keep my trashcan inside, and my yard isn't cluttered at all, just my table, chairs, water jug, ashtray, and now the stove and a pot and bowl. But I still got all mad that someone was telling me what to do. But not even ME! Sigh. I can't wait for this phase to pass. Ever since that dude yelled at me I've been on tenterhooks, worrying that I'm being spied on constantly and someone's going to catch me doing something wrong that I didn't even know I wasn't supposed to do, and yell at me again. I'm even nervous about throwing my dishwater over the fence into the desert, even though it's just water and biodegradable camp soap. Actually writing it out makes me feel less bad about it. I'm not gonna dump it in my own yard, and where else can I put it? It's certainly not as bad as all the people who take their dogs out into the desert (we're not even supposed to cross the barbed wire fence, and I never have.) I'm sure that doesn't help keep coyotes away, piles of unfamiliar canine shit in their territory. I guess the point is I'm not really comfortable yet, and feeling kind of disillusioned. I don't want to stop or go home, by any means, it's just a learning experience and a process. I know it'll get better soon.
Anyway, in better news, I got a camp stove, and kitchen things, so I can actually cook at home now! I figured out how to work it, and managed to make mac n cheese, and a can of chili yesterday, and as I mentioned, toast this morning (I got a little toast caddy that sits over the flames. The toast didn't get super toasty, but I blame the gales of wind for that, and my impatience.) I went to Trader Joe's and got lots of canned stuff, like beans and chili and stuff that isn't very perishable. I also got a thing of milk, but it got sour already, even though I kept it in the cooler as cool as possible. Hopefully I'll be able to find smaller ones so it doesn't go to waste. But I need milk for my cereal!
The most annoying part about living out here I would say is the lack of proper refrigeration. It severely limits my food options, and getting ice every other day is fine and all that, but it's really annoying when it melts and everything is floating in water and then water gets everywhere when you take it out. This is all just kind of complainy whiny stuff that is small in the long run. There's definitely more good than bad living out here. I'm just going through the awkward, getting-on-my-feet stage. At least I have a place to come relax and use the internet and tune everything out and stop worrying for a second. And I'm going to do just that! Third weekend starts tomorrow...
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