the last night

Sometimes I can be really sentimental and give great meaning to things arbitrarily, and must make everything symbolic and meaningful.  For instance, during the music jams this week (there was one Tuesday and Wednesday, which made me happy.)  and when I left I thought to myself, 'This is The Last Music Jam...' and looked back wistfully.  That sort of thing.  Normally, for the last weekend of faire I'd be very reverential, but it ISN'T the last weekend of faire...that last weekend of faire for me isn't until November!

Anyway, tonight is The Last Night in Arizona, so I ate at In-N-Out one last time for a year, and now I'm at Starbucks because I had to buy my friend an Arizona mug, and also to look at the computer some and download some podcasts to listen to on my long drive tomorrow.  Normally I'd be more reverential but I am EXHAUSTED and feeling a bit shaky and strange after today.

I offered to help tear down the pirate booth with Patrick and Asher, for the extra cash.  Well let me tell you, it was quite a harrowing experience.  I must be just in some weird hormonal in-between time, because I was angry and irritated all day, and I'd have mood swings where I'd go from being fine to being pissed off and wanting to burn the place down.  It's horrible, tedious, mind-numbing, dumb work, and I hated every minute of it, but I got through it.  There's really no end in sight for annoying days, maybe in 2 weeks?  I just want to sleep, which I will very very soon.  I certainly won't be getting any til Wednesday night.  

This will be my first time driving for LOOOONG stretches at a time...when I came from NC I had my aunt's boyfriend with me, so we switched back and forth.  Even then it was my first time ever driving longer than about 3 hours at a time...about 7 hour shifts.  God, thinking back on the crisis moments I had, and the weird hallucinating...argh.  This will not be fun.  But I can do it!  I can do it.  Yes, I can!  I'm just gonna keep repeating it to myself til I'm not freaking out.  At least in the car I can freak out and talk to myself and scream and stuff as much as I want, if I need to.

Alright, let's do this!  (that is...go to bed and sleep until the sun wakes me up, get my money from yesterday, pack up the car, and head out.  ARGH.  My fingers are so jumpy.  Please please please let me get some sleep tonight.)